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This is the reason I love my sister: Her printer wasn't working for some reason and she needed to print something for her class last night. I told her no problemo, she could use my printer. As she was leaving, she said, "Grassy ass." To which I replied, "Day nudist ( Read more... )

For the convenience of the famous and future-famous, I've compiled a list here of some celebrity-worthy baby names. So if you find yourself famous, no need to come up with your own UNIQUE name, just pick one of mine!

Torque <--- so macho!
Barrista
Splenda <--- so pretty, you guys, I might want to use this one myself ( Read more... )

Yeah, I keep looking at myself in the mirror and seeing Beach Bunny Barbie looking back at me. I really ought to get a pic at some point. Of course, I probably look hair-wise like I did the last time any of you saw me, so you might not really get how far I've come. Which is good, really. It's like missing the whole rehab stint, and just seeing ( Read more... )

I have a new man in my life. His name is Larry. I know him from work. Our involvement has been going on for over a month now, and it gets more serious every time I see him. Jimmy knows all about it, and has even gone so far as to encourage me to bring him home, (on a trial basis), but I don't know if I'm ready to go there yet. Even though I ( Read more... )

I got tired of not having a six pack, so I bought one.

Well, I just survived The Night of a Thousand Toads. Yes, SoCal is in the grip of another rainstorm, and the toads are once again in the roads. Maybe they're trying not to drown? At any rate, it's not the best place for 'em, poor little buggers. It's Saturday morning, but it still looks like Saturday night. I'm home at last, and happy that I ( Read more... )

1. When you don't know what you should be doing or where your life is going, drinking beer may be an excellent idea.

2. I love the Coen brothers' sensibility, even if they do creep me right the fuck out every now and then.

3. Beer? Motherfucking beer? When I have both wine and champagne (and some harder stuff) on hand? What can I say: I am ( Read more... )

Uncle Roy, while looking at pictures of old San Diego: "Is this the nickle ferry?"
Me: "They call her the Tooth Fairy, and these days she usually brings a quarter."

As for my days with Nana ... Not sure if she's been different, or if I'm just better able to deal with her lately, but the last few days we've spent together haven't been bad at all. ( Nana-cdotes )